If you were under the assumption a soulmate is someone you have to be romantically in love with, have we got news for you. It's totally possible to have what's called a platonic soulmate, aka someone you share a deep, strong connection with but are not also in love with them.
Have people ever asked what the deal is with you and your friend, who you say is only a friend and nothing more? Then you and that person have a platonic relationship.
Merriam-Webster states that platonic means: "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex." Basically, having a platonic relationship with someone means you share a connection or friendship with them, but you're not romantically and/or sexually involved.
What are examples of non-platonic relationships?
- A hookup, one night stand, or friends with benefit situation
- A relationship with your S.O.
- Someone you're crushing on or someone who's crushing on you
- Someone you used to date or rebounded with in the past
According to Lovebox, "The foundation of a platonic soulmate is that you do have boundaries and do not want to pursue each other in romantic intimacy."
OK, so what is the difference between a friend and a platonic soulmate?
A platonic soulmate is someone who makes you feel complete, understands you inside and out, accepts you for who you are, and is always there for you. This is a person you have deep, meaningful, sometimes painful conversations about your life, insecurities, hopes, and dreams. Your platonic soulmate metaphorically fills your soul.
A friend, especially a good friend, can have many of these attributes listed about, but they won't make your soul complete. Your connection with them doesn't feel nearly as powerful and you may not feel spiritually linked to them.
Granted, YOU get to decide who your platonic soulmate is and who isn't, but just remember a platonic soulmate is not synonymous with a BFF.
Psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, M.S., Ph.D. told mindbodygreen that a friendship with a platonic soulmate isn't like typical friendships. Instead, you and this person are "friends 'at a soul level' and likely [share] a profound and instant recognition upon first meeting."
What are some signs I've found my platonic soulmate?
- You can have a great time either doing something together or just enjoying each other's company in silence.
- You can communicate without having to talk; your nonverbal communication skills are top notch to instantly know what the other person is thinking or how they are feeling about something.
- You feel complete or whole around them, unlike any other feeling you get with other friends.
- You feel a kindred spirit with them on so many different beliefs and topics.
- You're always instantly happy to be around them, no matter the circumstances.
- The vibes are consistently great when you two are together.
What are some pop culture examples of platonic soulmates?
- Will Byers and Mike Wheeler from Stranger Things — before we learned Will has romantic feelings for Mike, that is
- Harry Potter and Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter saga
- Riley Matthews and Maya Hart from Girl Meets World
- Otis Milburn and Eric Effiong from Sex Education
- Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds
Stacey Grant is a senior editor at Seventeen who runs the brand's Snapchat Discover channel. She also covers entertainment topics specializing in nostalgia, such as classic '90s and '00s Disney Channel and Nickelodeon content.
